But why?!

Don't buy stuff you can't afford.

I know just who to get this for.

Organized

or - You can’t make me.

A couple weeks ago Chris bought me a Day Planner so that I can be just like him! On top of things. That’s funny on so many levels.

And while cleaning out my purse to make room for this new treasure of efficiency, I found an appointment card for the dentist. (I wasn’t that surprised as I had a nagging suspicion that I was due for a cleaning. But I never wrote the info down on my calendar at work so I was unaware it was this month. Wow, I am unorganized. I do need help) So I dutifully noted the date and time in the calendar section of my new organizer. Chris was so proud.

Also not surprising is the fact that I don’t want to go to the dentist. And I’ve spent every day since then complaining about the appointment and shooting hateful looks at the innocent day timer.

At the store, Chris had encouraged me to get the Weekly layout for the calendar section. But I protested and said that my schedule wasn’t busy enough to warrant that level of detail. And I’m used to seeing my month all laid out at one. So I stuck with the monthly layout for the calendar section. And I knew there would be trouble because the weeks start on Monday. And that is wrong. When I take a quick glance at a calendar, Monday should be the second square from the left. Am I wrong? No. Stubborn? Maybe.

I thought my appointment was today. And because I want to be just like Chris, I opened the day planner before I shoved it back into my purse this morning. Of course Chris had stuck the postcard the dentist office always sends as a reminder in there. So I read it. And it said Tuesday, Dec 19th in big bold letters. Tuesday?! My appointment isn’t until tomorrow?? That’s messing me up. I got ready under the assumption that my appointment was this afternoon. I’m packing floss people.

And now I have to buy the damn weekly inserts for that damn organizer I don’t have the discipline to check on a daily basis. Damn. And that evil Chris is smiling with smug satisfaction right now. I can feel it.

For Chris(tmas)

Charlie Brown Christmas - Performed by the Cast of Scrubs

Buckle up Charlize

Julie the Puppet Master

I just got off the phone with Julie and she’s got me jumping. Again.
I mentioned that my legs were achy and she said I needed to drink Nettle tea. So when I finish this post, I’m off to the health food store. (Last week she had me buying eucalyptus oil for my sore jaw and damn if my jaw isn’t better) And she wants another post. I sure hope she doesn’t decide to abuse this newfound power. I am not sending her money!

So, as I do every Monday morning, I checked my weekly update for week 17. It said the baby was now 5 inches long – about the size of an onion. I forwarded the info to Chris and teased him a bit about onions (I love them and he’s not such a fan. Last week we had an avocado!). But later in the morning I happened to notice the ruler on my desk. 5 inches. That’s pretty big. So I measured my coffee cup and it’s only a hair over 4 ½ inches! And I promptly began to hyperventilate. There is something the size of a coffee cup in my gut!!! All the fruits and the one crustacean were no problem (what the hell is a cumquat anyways?!). But this cup on my desk is huge. No wonder I had to loosen the elastic in my pants this morning.

I happened to be on the phone with Chris at the time and while barely suppressing his amusement he told me to calm down, take a deep breath, etc. My, isn’t he helpful. It’s easy to be calm when you don’t have a matricidal mug growing inside you.

Baby needs a new pair of shoes

Well not really. He needs a new t-shirt.
The one he is wearing is 22 years old!


Go Tigers!

Ante partum depression

You would have thought is was PRE-partum but no. I looked it up.

My in-laws have voiced their concern that I’m not very excited about being pregnant. Well duh.

Maybe I shouldn’t have mentioned my desire to lie down in traffic whenever P called to see how I was doing.

Don’t get me wrong – I am happy to be pregnant. I’m thrilled. Really.
It’s just that 3 long months of feeling like total crap made it a little hard to put on my happy face. Within the first month I had outgrown all my pants. Nothing says ‘fun’ like having to go to the mall to buy stretchy pants while feeling faint and nauseous. Good times.
And I am now completely sick of food since I need to eat something every couple hours or I will drop dead. Mention another chicken sandwich to me and I’ll throw a stapler at your head.

So, it is obvious I am not having that “I love being pregnant” experience other women mention with a blissful look in their eyes. Those women… well, I want to kick them in the shin. Hard.

But I’m coming around. Things are getting better now that I’m in my second trimester. I can make brief forays out of the house. I only envision naps in bed. I’ve come to terms with maternity clothing (well, it’s more of a tenuous détente but it’s a start). I am thoroughly enjoying going through the baby name books and shouting out the worst names I can find to poor Chris who is just trying to read his book in peace.

Unfortunately I still don’t have the energy to do the dishes. Sorry baby.

What to do… what to do….

You want a post. I want to read my book – which would normally take a lot less energy on my part. But the book? It's all the way over there. Next to my desk. In my bag. On the floor. And the keyboard? Well, it’s right here under my fingertips. Aren’t you lucky?!

Now…what can I tell you?
I had a doctor’s appointment this morning. And my soon to be replaced doctor sided with Chris and told me that I was in fact not dying! But could he tell me why I have this horrible pain in my jaw? No! Quack.

But it was a quick appointment and I didn’t have to get undressed which pleased me greatly. We got to hear the baby’s heartbeat again. Which actually was quite reassuring because once I stopped feeling like absolute crap 24/7 – well, how am I supposed to know that everything is still progressing as it should? I seem to be much more paranoid this time around. Fun for me. I got another lab slip for another blood test. Joy. And I am now pre-registered at the hospital for the big day. So, we can check that off the to-do list.

In First Born news – Kyle decided to join the school band. We are now the proud renters of an Alto Saxophone. It was that or the clarinet. An easy choice cause you gotta admit the sax player in the Muppet Band was one cool dude.



I’m going to get my cello re-strung and a new bow. Then we be jammin’! Wait till you hear our version of Hot Crossed Buns!!

FYI

Just so you know - I will not be posting pictures of my belly on this or any other website. So stop asking!

So, what else has been going on? Not much. But I have been feeling better this week. I even watered my plants. I’m hoping that I’ll be able to spend some time not only out of my chair, but out of the house this weekend!

A girl can dream right?!

Neglect

I know… I know… my plants are dying too.

But really – I’ve got nothing. I haven’t done anything for the last 2 months. You probably think I am exaggerating. I wish. I get up, go to work and sit at my desk, go home and sit in my chair, and then go to bed. It’s really not all it’s cracked up to be. In fact, it is down right depressing. On the weekends I just sit in my chair all day. It sucks.
And I think about posting but I assume you don’t want to hear me whine about how I don’t feel good and none of my clothes fit.

So, what can I tell you? Well, I learned that it talks 20 minutes for the water you just drank to reach your bladder. Yep, your life is more complete now.

I’ve been reading another book about Russia. This one is about Vladimir Putin and it is doing a very nice job of pissing me off! Jerk. I also read Lamb: The Gospel Aaccording to Biff, Christ’s Childhood Pal. And that book I enjoyed mightily. Laugh out loud funny until the end. I won’t spoil it for you.

And I’m not feeling good right now so I’m off to eat lunch #1.

I want to verse you

It's a classis battle - the brothers Gibb vs. those mop-topped Beatles.























And the winner is:


And two thumbs up to the Sain't for the beautiful flowers!

No – you da ho!

This is our house in Idaho. Nice ain't it?! We've never actually seen the house we just have a couple pictures. Trusting aren’t we? ‘Sure we built your house – here’s a picture. No, you don’t need to come all the way to Idaho; we’ll take care of everything.’ Ok then.
But we make a mortgage payment each month and we receive a rent check from some Property Mgmt Group so yeah, we are Idahoan slumlords. Cool.

I have more to post but I need to upload a couple pictures from my camera first. Hopefully I can maintain this almost human feeling for awhile longer. In the meantime, check out the latest post from the Sain’t on the Heidleberg Project. Very cool. And Paris Hilton is educational – I will now rule at donkey trivia.

.hot dogs.

.hot dogs.
Originally uploaded by tEdGuY49.

Not just 'hot dogs' people - Genie's Wienies!

This is a photo taken by one of my flickr contacts tEdGuY49, who I'm pretty sure was put on this earth to drive around Michigan and take pictures for my enjoyment. Which sounds like as good a reason as any to exist right?

Anyways, yesterday he posted this photo of Genie's Wienies in Detroit and my heart was filled with happiness (which looks like rainbows, unicorns and matches in the shape of hotdogs). But my happiness was short lived. Someone made a comment that there was an article on Genie’s Wieners (it’s just fun to say isn’t it?!) in the Detroit Free Press that day so I looked it up. And now I curse the internet. Genie’s Wienies is closing at 6pm on September 3rd! Sadness fills my heart (see: deserted wasteland with no coneys, chili-fries or matchbooks full of happy hotdogs in sight!). I sent an email to Sain’t to get us some plane tickets right away but I think he is ignoring me.

I had to buy a six-pack of Vernor’s to cheer myself up.

It's a boy!

My old roommate Clem (named changed because it’s funny) and his beautiful wife had a baby boy on Aug 10th, Max. I am so happy for them.
Here he is in the arms of his lovely Aunt Julie.


I met Clem in a painting class at the local college a million years ago. He had a Kurt Vonnegut book sticking out of a Guatemalan bag and I knew he would have to be my friend. Little did I know that Clem was a package deal. I got his whole family! I’ve vacationed with his brother, worked for his father and claimed his sister as my own.

Julie rocks. Look at her! She is the best right-hand man a girl could have. And she wants to cook for you! But she can’t right now because she is moving at the end of the month. Moving sucks. You should send her food. Better yet – send her brownies! Wait. Send me brownies!

What other news have I got? Let’s see…
Sain’t kissed a girl. But he doesn’t want to talk about it, so don’t ask.
Kyle started 4th grade today. He is in desperate need of another haircut. Hippy.
I’m pregnant. I can say that cause nobody is out there.
Chris has 2 boats for sale. You should buy one.

So, not too much going on around here. I could really use some brownies.

How did I get here?

As Sain’t Christopher posted last week – he’s lived in San Francisco for 16 years now. That means that I’ve been in California almost 15 years. Ouch. Remind me sometime to tell you why I hate math.

I got the idea to move to California in 1990 while my aunt from Sacramento was visiting my folks. Hmm…California... Nothing was going on in Detroit so why stay? What cool city is near Sacramento? Hey, I’ll go to San Francisco! Why not?! Sounds like fun.
Surprisingly, the Sain’t didn’t tell me I was nuts for wanting to move across the country on a whim. (At least not to my face) In fact he was going to drive out with me and then fly home – a vacation of sorts. But it didn’t take long for him to decide to move to San Francisco too!
Now you might be inclined to say I am the reason we are both here in CA – but that would be wrong! I didn’t have a plan. I’m not sure what I would have done if left to my own devices. But the Sain’t is an industrious sort and once his decision was made he immediately started doing research - and this was before you could just Google ‘I want to move to San Francisco!’ He did all the leg work. He went out there first and found us a place to live and got a job. 2 weeks after he left, I packed my stuff, said my good-byes and got the hell out of Detroit.

That first move didn’t stick. I was back in Michigan within the month. And for a guy. When I finally left Detroit again in the fall of 1991, we (me and the guy) moved to southern California. Of course me and the guy didn’t last. And I’m not going to list all my moves up and down the state, but I somehow ended up in Sacramento. Imagine that. And the Sain’t has remained right were I left him. So, who can you blame?

Happy Anniversary Christopher. And thanks!

But you are worth the effort

I have been trying to cut back on my caffeine intake this week. I’m sure there was a perfectly good reason for doing this but I’m too tired to remember what it was. I'm too tired to do much of anything.

I’ve wanted to post a new entry all week, but eh, typing. It’s such an effort. Actually I don’t have to worry about the typing; I can’t even organize my scattered thoughts into cohesive sentences.
Hmm, I was able to pull out “cohesive” so maybe all is not lost.

Last Wednesday I took Kyle to the dentist because he cracked a tooth while on vacation. It was a rather pointless trip as the cracked tooth is a baby-tooth that was already loose, but I am one of those concerned and caring mothers so off we went. And it was worth the trip across town just to see the look of newfound respect on the dentist’s face when Kyle told him he cracked his tooth surfing in Malibu. That’s right, Kyle is that cool. So then the dentist gets all excited and asks him what kind of board he was riding etc. Funny.

Of course I volunteered to pop Kyle in the jaw to ‘help’ knock the tooth out. Remember my ‘smack down’ reputation! But I’m afraid I might have light-heartedly offered my services one to many times; I think I saw a CPS van circling the neighborhood last night.

Some people have no sense of humor at all.

Fort Bragg revisited

Aahhh. Another lovely weekend camping in Fort Bragg. This time we stayed in Pomo Campground at the south end of town. And this is good for you because it means we were nowhere near McKerricher State Park – so no repeat ocean shots. In fact, I think I only took one picture of the ocean.
Hmm, what are those 254 photos of anyways?

On Saturday, while Chris was diving, Kyle and I went down to Noyo Harbor and roamed around with the cameras. Kyle was quite pleased to find a bunch of seagulls eating fish heads. Gee, can’t wait to download his photos.


And Sunday morning Kyle and I went to Jug Handle State Reserve. But instead of hitting the beach, we hiked back into the woods in search of the Pygmy Forest. Well, we didn’t make it the 2.5 miles inland to the tiny trees – we should have packed provisions. Maybe I'll sign Kyle up for the Boy Scouts. That boy likes to hike. And one of us should know how to recognize poison oak. It’s just not a skill I learned on the streets of Detroit. The best I can do is to tell him not to touch anything green - ha!


The rest of the weekend was spent at the campground just kickin’ back.


Perfect. And now we are home and no one is itchy so I guess my ‘Don’t touch anything’ strategy worked. Although it could have been the thick layer of dirt that protected Kyle. I’m afraid to look in the bathtub after last night’s bath. I’m sure it will take a big strong man to scrub that ring away. Hi Chris!
Thanks for taking us camping.

The eagle has landed

Kyle is home. He’s very tan and at least 5 inches taller.

Uh...

Well. I’m so tired I can’t think of anything else. Apparently what they say about the elderly is true – you sleep less as you age. And now I officially feel old. After a late night of fun fun fun birthday revelry*, my plan was to sleep in nice and late Sunday morning. Only I couldn’t do it. I tried. But it was not working and I finally admitted defeat and got up with less than the minimum 8 hours of sleep. And then I spent the rest of the day on the verge of a nap. And I don’t do naps. At least young me never did. You’ve seen those old people – the ones who get up at 4:30 in the morning and then nap all day in their rocking chairs? That is going to be me. And I will have officially become my dad when I start falling asleep on the toilet!

Last night I couldn’t sleep at all. I tossed. I turned. I got up at 4:20 and did some yoga. I must have finally fallen asleep because when Chris woke me up to kiss me goodbye - as he does every morning at 6:10am - he’s lucky I didn’t pop him in the nose!

So. I’m tired. And the coffee seems to be broken. And I’m feeling snug from the extended forward folds done in the dark. This must be why a number of old people are so irritable. “Hey! Keep the racket down you whipper-snappers!”

And I mean it!

Cranky Old Lady (formerly elfini)



* I had a lovely birthday dinner on Saturday night. Even the legendary Sain’t was there! Chris and Cynthia prepared the food and it was fabulous. The wine was flowing, the conversation lively and I couldn’t have been happier! And I managed to get one great shot with my new lens


Of course there are more on Flickr. But be kind, it’s going to take some practice to get the hang of the 50mm f/1.8. And I’ll tell you about the experiments with the new Lensbaby after I take a nap under my desk.

What to talk about

I would hate for you to think that I have been reduced to talking about the weather - as if nothing else is going on in my life.
Unfortunately that’s an accurate assessment. It's been too damn hot to do much of anything except sit indoors with the air-conditioning draining your bank account. But I’ve managed to keep busy. The laundry is done. And there is this:



Go there. And when you have finished viewing the last essay, the air will be crisp again and the leaves will be falling...

Sweet Relief

I left the house this morning expecting to walk out into a furnace on pre-heat but instead was hit by a cool delta breeze. Oh my god. I swear I almost wept with joy!

If you didn’t know already, Sacramento and the Central Valley have been in the midst of a hellish heat wave. I think there have been at least 10 heat-related deaths in the last week. And there is nothing funny about that. To make matters worse it's not just hot during the day; it’s been a 24/7 kind of hot. When we got home from Santa Cruz last Sunday it was 93 degrees at 9:30 at night! So wrong.

Ya’ know what else is wrong? Barring this heat wave with it’s round the clock misery; during a typical Sacramento summer, 5pm is the hottest part of the day. Not noon. Not even 2pm. 5pm. Right when you are leaving work and have to pick up the kids, or go grocery shopping, or breath…

But today’s high is only 96! Saturday 93 and Sunday 92!!!

No one should be this excited about 92 degrees.

But it’s older than I’ve ever been!

And it keeps happening to me!

That’s right – it’s going to be my birthday and I’m giving dirt a run for its money. I’m turning 40 on the 30th. That’s this Sunday if you don’t have a calendar handy. You should come by and help me celebrate. To accommodate everyone’s schedules, I have been forced to have a party on both Saturday and Sunday. How I suffer for the people I love. Pick an evening or show up for both celebrations – there will be food, wine, cake (or Bananas Foster if Cynthia really cares) and of course me! What more could you ask for?! Oh don’t worry, the extreme Leo vibes will settle back down to acceptable levels next week.

And to make sure I come back down to terra firma sufficiently, Kyle will be home next week! He’s been visiting relatives in Malibu since the 17th. Yeah, he suffers even more that I do. And please don’t make the erroneous assumption that I miss the little bugger. Cause I don’t. Twitch. I haven’t had to get up early and drive him across town to Summer Camp. Twitch. Haven’t had to stand over him with a stick to get him to brush his teeth. Ok, Chris hasn’t had to do that. But still. Twitch. No Kyle popping up 20 minutes after his bed-time to get another hug. Twitch twitch twitch.

Ahem. Well. Yes. Back to me. I’m having a birthday!
And then Kyle will come home.* And then we’ll go camping again in Fort Bragg. Sounds good.

*Shall we take bets on how many days before I’m annoyed as hell with him again? Hours??