All my friends are doing it

And by ‘it’ I mean writing about food.

Although I’m sure most of them wouldn’t mind doing what you first thought. Maybe just not with each other. Oh dear, I’ve gone someplace icky. Think happy thoughts. Rainbows and puppies. Think about cupcakes!

Mmm…cupcakes.
I'm ok now. Thanks.

Back to food. We’ve got our favorite Bad Home Cook who seems to be riding high on a string of kitchen successes. And the infamous Sain’t - although lately he seems to post more pictures of babies than his culinary creations. Works for me – those kids are cute. Soon we will add Cynthia to the mix.
Ha! Funny.

I finally managed to get Cynthia over last Saturday afternoon for lunch (which she of course made and it was wonderful), laundry, and artistic endeavors. We didn’t get around to the watercolors but I printed some of my photos and now we are both newly inspired to paint. And we finally got Cynthia set up with her very own Blogger account. I can speak no more about it until she gives me the ok. But I will say that I was quite upset when I saw all the new features for customizing your template that the new version of Blogger provides. Bastards. I had to teach myself code and now it’s all right there for you ‘Johnny-come-lately’s that are just now setting up a new blog. And can I with my ‘I already upgraded to the new version’ account access these new tools? No. Not without having to start from scratch with one of the provided templates that I could then customize thus loosing all the work I’ve already done! Bastards.

(Deep breath)

(One more)

I’m alright. But just to be sure - let’s go back to thinking about cupcakes. I’m going to make some! For Kyle’s birthday on Thursday. And if he can manage to behave himself for the next 2 nights, I’ll make enough for him to take to school for for an in-class party. I don’t want to go into all the trouble he’s gotten himself in during the last 2 weeks. (I just managed to get myself calmed down again) But we did end up canceling his birthday party and he is still grounded. That kid can be more vexing than Blogger!

Crap. Can someone please come check my blood pressure?!

Om cupcakes om….repeat…

That's beautiful (wipes tear from eye)

So, every week Kyle get a list of spelling words. On Wednesdays, their assignment is to write a sentence using each word. Typically Kyle writes 25 of the shortest sentences he can. Things like:
I cough.

That boy is lazy when it comes to writing. But last night something miraculous happened. Kyle decided his sentences whould have a theme. Then it became a story! And oh what a story it is. Checking homework just got a little more entertaining for Mr. S.

It starts out a little slow but you will be rewarded in the end. Enjoy! (Spelling words are green)


1. There was a dancing baffoon outside.
2. The dancing baffoon skipped.
3. The baffoon was the best hiker.
4. When the baffoon reached the top he flipped.
5. The baffoon landed in a snapping turtles mouth.
6. Then the turtle had to go wee-wee and he raced to go.
7. He tripped, landed head first in the toilet.
8. When he was done he saw a pleasing young lady.
9. He started checking her out.
10. Then the turtle’s friend said “Dare you to ask her out.” So he did.
11. Then the lights dimmed
12. Rubbing his neck he asked her out.
13. She was a redhead with brown stripes down her hair.
14. “You’re wasting your time on me go away” she said to him.
15. He drew a picture of her and traced it.
16. For there first date they stripped wall paper.
17. Then they went tanning on the beach
18. He started smelling her perfume.
19. The turtle started phoning his friend “She’s wearing perfume.”
20. Then they kissed and he fainted.
21. He was breathing hard.
22. “It was so tiring to breath like that” he said.
23. She urged him to kiss her again he fainted
24. That night he scrubbed his forehead.
25. Then she knocked at the door striving to get him to open the door.

I think Kyle's got a future in writing and I see Fabio on the covers!

Buy or Lease?

Kids. They’re like cars right?! You trade one in when you get a new one?

Are you sure?

Damn. Because Kyle is cruisin’ for a bruisin’ as my dad always said.
What is up with the attitude and lip these last couple days? Right when we are planning his birthday party. Not good. I feel far less inclined to spend a whole lot of money on his requested party location when all he does is growl at me to be quiet and yell that he does not have to listen to us. Alrighty then… let me get right on the phone to book the indoor pool at the dive shop for a 3 hour party. No problem mutton head.*

In other happier party news, plans are being made for the baby shower. I was trying to decide between 2 equally nice restaurants and well, you must know by now how I am with making decisions. Ha! So, I emailed the lovely Karen to ask her opinion. The Italian restaurant with the light and airy banquet room and easy parking or the restaurant at the Galleria (one of my favorites) with the windowless party room and mall parking? Well, all she had to do was say “I don’t think the lack of windows will be an issue because it helps people focus more on you.” and the choice was made. You just need to put things in Leo terms. See how easy that is?

And now K and I are engaged in a long email exchange about cupcakes. I really want a cupcake!

*Chris just called the guy at the dive shop a 'mutton head' for putting the party deposit on the wrong credit card after a detailed discussion over which on file card to use.
Mutton head! Who says that?!
Apparently we do. It just seems to work.

Climbing the walls

Look at what Chris and Kyle did yesterday - they built a climbing wall in the garage!





This is only phase 1 - there will be 3 more sections complete with overhangs before it is finished.

Let the bouldering begin!

Obligatory Christmas post

What kind of blogger would I be if I didn’t do a Xmas photo highlights post? Don’t answer that. Just sit back and enjoy the festive goodness that is Kyle getting too much good stuff. Oh how he suffers – just ask him.


A new bike from Chris’ folks. Awesome. There was even a ramp set from Santa waiting for Kyle at home.

In the finest Christmas spirit – here is Kyle asking P for her new ipod. I guess he didn’t get everything he wanted. See suffering mentioned above.

And of course there were presents for “the bean”.

After Kyle was done with elf duties he disappeared until it was time to leave.

Priceless.

But why?!

Don't buy stuff you can't afford.

I know just who to get this for.

Organized

or - You can’t make me.

A couple weeks ago Chris bought me a Day Planner so that I can be just like him! On top of things. That’s funny on so many levels.

And while cleaning out my purse to make room for this new treasure of efficiency, I found an appointment card for the dentist. (I wasn’t that surprised as I had a nagging suspicion that I was due for a cleaning. But I never wrote the info down on my calendar at work so I was unaware it was this month. Wow, I am unorganized. I do need help) So I dutifully noted the date and time in the calendar section of my new organizer. Chris was so proud.

Also not surprising is the fact that I don’t want to go to the dentist. And I’ve spent every day since then complaining about the appointment and shooting hateful looks at the innocent day timer.

At the store, Chris had encouraged me to get the Weekly layout for the calendar section. But I protested and said that my schedule wasn’t busy enough to warrant that level of detail. And I’m used to seeing my month all laid out at one. So I stuck with the monthly layout for the calendar section. And I knew there would be trouble because the weeks start on Monday. And that is wrong. When I take a quick glance at a calendar, Monday should be the second square from the left. Am I wrong? No. Stubborn? Maybe.

I thought my appointment was today. And because I want to be just like Chris, I opened the day planner before I shoved it back into my purse this morning. Of course Chris had stuck the postcard the dentist office always sends as a reminder in there. So I read it. And it said Tuesday, Dec 19th in big bold letters. Tuesday?! My appointment isn’t until tomorrow?? That’s messing me up. I got ready under the assumption that my appointment was this afternoon. I’m packing floss people.

And now I have to buy the damn weekly inserts for that damn organizer I don’t have the discipline to check on a daily basis. Damn. And that evil Chris is smiling with smug satisfaction right now. I can feel it.

For Chris(tmas)

Charlie Brown Christmas - Performed by the Cast of Scrubs

Buckle up Charlize

Julie the Puppet Master

I just got off the phone with Julie and she’s got me jumping. Again.
I mentioned that my legs were achy and she said I needed to drink Nettle tea. So when I finish this post, I’m off to the health food store. (Last week she had me buying eucalyptus oil for my sore jaw and damn if my jaw isn’t better) And she wants another post. I sure hope she doesn’t decide to abuse this newfound power. I am not sending her money!

So, as I do every Monday morning, I checked my weekly update for week 17. It said the baby was now 5 inches long – about the size of an onion. I forwarded the info to Chris and teased him a bit about onions (I love them and he’s not such a fan. Last week we had an avocado!). But later in the morning I happened to notice the ruler on my desk. 5 inches. That’s pretty big. So I measured my coffee cup and it’s only a hair over 4 ½ inches! And I promptly began to hyperventilate. There is something the size of a coffee cup in my gut!!! All the fruits and the one crustacean were no problem (what the hell is a cumquat anyways?!). But this cup on my desk is huge. No wonder I had to loosen the elastic in my pants this morning.

I happened to be on the phone with Chris at the time and while barely suppressing his amusement he told me to calm down, take a deep breath, etc. My, isn’t he helpful. It’s easy to be calm when you don’t have a matricidal mug growing inside you.

Baby needs a new pair of shoes

Well not really. He needs a new t-shirt.
The one he is wearing is 22 years old!


Go Tigers!

Ante partum depression

You would have thought is was PRE-partum but no. I looked it up.

My in-laws have voiced their concern that I’m not very excited about being pregnant. Well duh.

Maybe I shouldn’t have mentioned my desire to lie down in traffic whenever P called to see how I was doing.

Don’t get me wrong – I am happy to be pregnant. I’m thrilled. Really.
It’s just that 3 long months of feeling like total crap made it a little hard to put on my happy face. Within the first month I had outgrown all my pants. Nothing says ‘fun’ like having to go to the mall to buy stretchy pants while feeling faint and nauseous. Good times.
And I am now completely sick of food since I need to eat something every couple hours or I will drop dead. Mention another chicken sandwich to me and I’ll throw a stapler at your head.

So, it is obvious I am not having that “I love being pregnant” experience other women mention with a blissful look in their eyes. Those women… well, I want to kick them in the shin. Hard.

But I’m coming around. Things are getting better now that I’m in my second trimester. I can make brief forays out of the house. I only envision naps in bed. I’ve come to terms with maternity clothing (well, it’s more of a tenuous détente but it’s a start). I am thoroughly enjoying going through the baby name books and shouting out the worst names I can find to poor Chris who is just trying to read his book in peace.

Unfortunately I still don’t have the energy to do the dishes. Sorry baby.

What to do… what to do….

You want a post. I want to read my book – which would normally take a lot less energy on my part. But the book? It's all the way over there. Next to my desk. In my bag. On the floor. And the keyboard? Well, it’s right here under my fingertips. Aren’t you lucky?!

Now…what can I tell you?
I had a doctor’s appointment this morning. And my soon to be replaced doctor sided with Chris and told me that I was in fact not dying! But could he tell me why I have this horrible pain in my jaw? No! Quack.

But it was a quick appointment and I didn’t have to get undressed which pleased me greatly. We got to hear the baby’s heartbeat again. Which actually was quite reassuring because once I stopped feeling like absolute crap 24/7 – well, how am I supposed to know that everything is still progressing as it should? I seem to be much more paranoid this time around. Fun for me. I got another lab slip for another blood test. Joy. And I am now pre-registered at the hospital for the big day. So, we can check that off the to-do list.

In First Born news – Kyle decided to join the school band. We are now the proud renters of an Alto Saxophone. It was that or the clarinet. An easy choice cause you gotta admit the sax player in the Muppet Band was one cool dude.



I’m going to get my cello re-strung and a new bow. Then we be jammin’! Wait till you hear our version of Hot Crossed Buns!!

FYI

Just so you know - I will not be posting pictures of my belly on this or any other website. So stop asking!

So, what else has been going on? Not much. But I have been feeling better this week. I even watered my plants. I’m hoping that I’ll be able to spend some time not only out of my chair, but out of the house this weekend!

A girl can dream right?!

Neglect

I know… I know… my plants are dying too.

But really – I’ve got nothing. I haven’t done anything for the last 2 months. You probably think I am exaggerating. I wish. I get up, go to work and sit at my desk, go home and sit in my chair, and then go to bed. It’s really not all it’s cracked up to be. In fact, it is down right depressing. On the weekends I just sit in my chair all day. It sucks.
And I think about posting but I assume you don’t want to hear me whine about how I don’t feel good and none of my clothes fit.

So, what can I tell you? Well, I learned that it talks 20 minutes for the water you just drank to reach your bladder. Yep, your life is more complete now.

I’ve been reading another book about Russia. This one is about Vladimir Putin and it is doing a very nice job of pissing me off! Jerk. I also read Lamb: The Gospel Aaccording to Biff, Christ’s Childhood Pal. And that book I enjoyed mightily. Laugh out loud funny until the end. I won’t spoil it for you.

And I’m not feeling good right now so I’m off to eat lunch #1.

I want to verse you

It's a classis battle - the brothers Gibb vs. those mop-topped Beatles.























And the winner is:


And two thumbs up to the Sain't for the beautiful flowers!

No – you da ho!

This is our house in Idaho. Nice ain't it?! We've never actually seen the house we just have a couple pictures. Trusting aren’t we? ‘Sure we built your house – here’s a picture. No, you don’t need to come all the way to Idaho; we’ll take care of everything.’ Ok then.
But we make a mortgage payment each month and we receive a rent check from some Property Mgmt Group so yeah, we are Idahoan slumlords. Cool.

I have more to post but I need to upload a couple pictures from my camera first. Hopefully I can maintain this almost human feeling for awhile longer. In the meantime, check out the latest post from the Sain’t on the Heidleberg Project. Very cool. And Paris Hilton is educational – I will now rule at donkey trivia.

.hot dogs.

.hot dogs.
Originally uploaded by tEdGuY49.

Not just 'hot dogs' people - Genie's Wienies!

This is a photo taken by one of my flickr contacts tEdGuY49, who I'm pretty sure was put on this earth to drive around Michigan and take pictures for my enjoyment. Which sounds like as good a reason as any to exist right?

Anyways, yesterday he posted this photo of Genie's Wienies in Detroit and my heart was filled with happiness (which looks like rainbows, unicorns and matches in the shape of hotdogs). But my happiness was short lived. Someone made a comment that there was an article on Genie’s Wieners (it’s just fun to say isn’t it?!) in the Detroit Free Press that day so I looked it up. And now I curse the internet. Genie’s Wienies is closing at 6pm on September 3rd! Sadness fills my heart (see: deserted wasteland with no coneys, chili-fries or matchbooks full of happy hotdogs in sight!). I sent an email to Sain’t to get us some plane tickets right away but I think he is ignoring me.

I had to buy a six-pack of Vernor’s to cheer myself up.

It's a boy!

My old roommate Clem (named changed because it’s funny) and his beautiful wife had a baby boy on Aug 10th, Max. I am so happy for them.
Here he is in the arms of his lovely Aunt Julie.


I met Clem in a painting class at the local college a million years ago. He had a Kurt Vonnegut book sticking out of a Guatemalan bag and I knew he would have to be my friend. Little did I know that Clem was a package deal. I got his whole family! I’ve vacationed with his brother, worked for his father and claimed his sister as my own.

Julie rocks. Look at her! She is the best right-hand man a girl could have. And she wants to cook for you! But she can’t right now because she is moving at the end of the month. Moving sucks. You should send her food. Better yet – send her brownies! Wait. Send me brownies!

What other news have I got? Let’s see…
Sain’t kissed a girl. But he doesn’t want to talk about it, so don’t ask.
Kyle started 4th grade today. He is in desperate need of another haircut. Hippy.
I’m pregnant. I can say that cause nobody is out there.
Chris has 2 boats for sale. You should buy one.

So, not too much going on around here. I could really use some brownies.

How did I get here?

As Sain’t Christopher posted last week – he’s lived in San Francisco for 16 years now. That means that I’ve been in California almost 15 years. Ouch. Remind me sometime to tell you why I hate math.

I got the idea to move to California in 1990 while my aunt from Sacramento was visiting my folks. Hmm…California... Nothing was going on in Detroit so why stay? What cool city is near Sacramento? Hey, I’ll go to San Francisco! Why not?! Sounds like fun.
Surprisingly, the Sain’t didn’t tell me I was nuts for wanting to move across the country on a whim. (At least not to my face) In fact he was going to drive out with me and then fly home – a vacation of sorts. But it didn’t take long for him to decide to move to San Francisco too!
Now you might be inclined to say I am the reason we are both here in CA – but that would be wrong! I didn’t have a plan. I’m not sure what I would have done if left to my own devices. But the Sain’t is an industrious sort and once his decision was made he immediately started doing research - and this was before you could just Google ‘I want to move to San Francisco!’ He did all the leg work. He went out there first and found us a place to live and got a job. 2 weeks after he left, I packed my stuff, said my good-byes and got the hell out of Detroit.

That first move didn’t stick. I was back in Michigan within the month. And for a guy. When I finally left Detroit again in the fall of 1991, we (me and the guy) moved to southern California. Of course me and the guy didn’t last. And I’m not going to list all my moves up and down the state, but I somehow ended up in Sacramento. Imagine that. And the Sain’t has remained right were I left him. So, who can you blame?

Happy Anniversary Christopher. And thanks!

But you are worth the effort

I have been trying to cut back on my caffeine intake this week. I’m sure there was a perfectly good reason for doing this but I’m too tired to remember what it was. I'm too tired to do much of anything.

I’ve wanted to post a new entry all week, but eh, typing. It’s such an effort. Actually I don’t have to worry about the typing; I can’t even organize my scattered thoughts into cohesive sentences.
Hmm, I was able to pull out “cohesive” so maybe all is not lost.

Last Wednesday I took Kyle to the dentist because he cracked a tooth while on vacation. It was a rather pointless trip as the cracked tooth is a baby-tooth that was already loose, but I am one of those concerned and caring mothers so off we went. And it was worth the trip across town just to see the look of newfound respect on the dentist’s face when Kyle told him he cracked his tooth surfing in Malibu. That’s right, Kyle is that cool. So then the dentist gets all excited and asks him what kind of board he was riding etc. Funny.

Of course I volunteered to pop Kyle in the jaw to ‘help’ knock the tooth out. Remember my ‘smack down’ reputation! But I’m afraid I might have light-heartedly offered my services one to many times; I think I saw a CPS van circling the neighborhood last night.

Some people have no sense of humor at all.