GRAPHICs - how NOVEL...

I am procrastinating. I should be changing into a pair of pants that fit so that I can go to the grocery store. But I made a quick stop by my desk and here we are. And here a couple photos of the kiddies that I did some Photoshop magic to.

Yes, another tutorial. This one was the Stylized Comic Book Effect by Corey Barker of PlanetPhotoshop. Fun for me!

And here is a super simple Halftone Dots and Linear Light Effect:

In other news, I am reading Island of the Sequined Love Nun by Christopher Moore. It's...

Oh.
Now I must find pants and get out the door. Chris just came upstairs and told me to buy drugs. Lots of drugs.

I'm sure he will clarify exactly what he is looking for before I leave. He knows me a little too well...

Intergalactic Translator

Were you aware that Erin turns 2 next month?! Holy Aging Me Batman. That’s crazy. So I guess that means she is right on the mark of the developmental scale. Cause as I’ve said before – that baby is crazy.

And she is getting big. Some long lean little girl who is all limbs has disappeared my cute chubby moon-faced baby. She probably ate her. I swear Erin eats twice as much as Kyle! She’ll eat her dinner, then mooch off Chris’s, mine and Kyle’s. And now she’s making requests at breakfast! She will ask for eggs. In a bowl. Sometimes after she has already eaten her yogurt, banana, bread and a handful of cheerios. Damn. Its kinda scary how much the girl can eat.

Since she is so advanced, she has already been displaying the typical Terrible Two’s most endearing behavior – the temper tantrum. By now you know about her lung capacity, so you can well imagine how much fun those fits can be. And just who taught her to dislocate her shoulders so that you can not pick her up?! She can also go the other way – pressing her arms tight to her body so you can’t lift her out of the crib. She’s obviously brilliant! I also detect quite a bit of talent in her line-drawings. You might also file them under scribbling.

Erin also has a lot to say. She chatters on almost as much as Kyle. And I’d say about a third of what she says is in English. Baby is bilingual! Although Chris and I can not agree on what the other language is. He says it is Vietnamese, I say Swedish. (By the way, Chris does not know pig-latin! How can you not know pig-latin?! Gah, we are going to have to start spelling soon!) Anyway, on the off chance I can convince you to come over and baby-sit, I’ve put together a handy Erin-to-English translation sheet for you.

Erin-ese     English

Bears        cranberries (will also accept raisins)
Baby         yogurt (because the Yo-baby containers had a pic of 
             a baby on them)
Beer, wine   just what you think! Do not let her have any.
Linner       dinner (or lunch – really any meal)
Moon         spoon
Buttas       boots
Ollies       glasses
Hammer       helmet (bike)
Bella        Isabella (baby-sitter’s granddaughter) or crayons
Minny        Mickey Mouse – or Manny from Handy Manny (damn! Now
             I’ve got that Handy Manny song stuck in my head)
Mama         Grandma (Papa is Grandpa and often uttered in a low
             growl. Do not be afraid.)
Mote         remote control
Pie          pacifier (only to be used in bed)
Cracker      animal crackers (she does not want a Scooby snack)

The rest of what she saying you can understand pretty well. Unless it is in Portuguese.

She also has quite a few short sentences she'll throw down:
"Where’s (insert missing object)?" - comes with arms out, palms up, slight shrug
"I don’t know"
"No want" (or "No want to") - she usually puts her hand over her mouth – funny

And our personal favorite:

"Okay, bye later."

Lidsville - Street Punk Edition

If you encounter this baby in a dark alley - run the other way. That baby will mess you up! At the very least, she'll steal your hat.*

This hat used to be mine. I bought it in Fort Bragg several years ago. I gave it to Kyle last year to take camping. At some point Erin got her hands on it and won't give it back. That's cool. I'm not gonna try and take it away from her - have you heard her scream?! I've got another hat.

I took these photos on a Saturday morning - this is how the baby kicks it around the casa.

So, I was going to tell you about Sharon and why she should pay for my suffering. Well, somehow she managed to get me to agree to be a vendor at Mather Golf Course's Second Saturday Event on March 14th. omfg. How did that happen? I don't drink, so I wasn't drunk. Why would I agree to such a thing? Selling my photographers? Sure, it sounds so simple. Wrong. It is a major pain in my ass! And it will probably be the death of me. Or a small part of me. Hey, I'm definitely losing sleep over it! I'm not even going to tell you about the traumas I am having over printing these photos. Then there are the logistics of displaying the prints. And at some point I'm going to have to figure out pricing! I am so going to kick Sharon in the shin the next time I see her. Damn it! She was just here on Saturday and not only did I NOT kick her, we fed her abalone, and then I took photos of her (106!) so she would have a new profile pic for freakin' Facebook! Ugh. Now, I'm really mad. I made her look good, and I'm sitting here having heart palipitations while some Canon bigwig is buying another Mercedes on my dime!

Ok, maybe it is time for a little yoga break. While I go stand on my head, you can ponder the cuteness of the Bean. In this shot she looks just like Chris!

* She's also been known to sticky-finger a cell-phone out of a purse without anyone noticing. Next up: Mug shots!

Lidsville

I have a cold. Or the flu. Possibly a random plague. I blame Julie. She cursed me – a pox upon my house no less! Sure, sure, she promptly lifted the curse, but obviously not fast enough. Because a couple weeks ago Kyle got sick. And Kyle never gets sick! And then while we were in Santa Cruz, Erin started getting sick. She was sick all last week, poor baby. And now I am sick. So yes, I blame Julie. Although I believe she has paid for her sins. She was also sick last week. And then yesterday she called me for tween anecdotes for an article she is writing. Ha! she ended up listening to an almost certainly feverish me babble on about Kyle for 30+ minutes. I have no recollection of what I said to her. More ramblings of a lunatic. She should have been recording that shit. Chopped it up, added some random images and a funky electronic dub, uploaded to YouTube, and become an instant internet phenomenon. Oh well, maybe next time she’ll be ready for me.

Warning. Abrupt change in subject.

I have been collecting images of Erin in all her hats. Girl likes to wear hats! And if Chris wants to point his genetic blaming finger at me for that one, well I’ll take it. Hats are cool. Use to wear them all the time myself. Still have a couple funky hats, but most are of the practical and warm variety now. Hmm, will have to remedy that situation at some point. More funky hats for the people! Anyway, Erin loves to wear random hats around the house. She’s also obsessed with her bike helmet. Shocking. This hat was pilfered off a stuffed dog that Kyle gave her. It always cracks us up when she wears it. She looks like a stoned snow-boarder, or one of the McKenzie Brothers.

"Beauty Clark!"

"Take off, eh!"

And that’s all I’ve got for ya today. You too can blame Julie. Or Sharon. Sharon has not yet paid for all the suffering she’s causing me. I’ll tell you more about that tomorrow. Or as soon as Julie’s pox removal cream starts working. The nice man on the TV said the results were guaranteed or I’d get my money back less shipping and handling. That’s a good deal right?

For Grandpa

Some frosting for the 49er's win this afternoon...




Erin was playing with that football all morning. Even took a nap with it.
Silly girl.

Because the candy is gone

yet you still crave something sweet. Baby, I can deliver. Zero calories and guilt-free, what more do you want?!



Me? I suddenly have a yearning for some hot chocolate. Go figure.

Trapped - like a rat

I just put Erin down for her nap. I’m tired and thought about taking a little nap myself but I’ve downed too much coffee already so here I am.

Its day 3 for me, Erin and Playhouse Disney; and it’s starting to take a toll on my nerves. Well, except those Imagination Movers – they’re ok in a peppy primary color kinda way.

Jen, Erin’s baby-sitter, went on vacation Thursday and left me working from home the last 2 days. Not as fun as it sounds. It messes with my morning routine something awful. I should get up, get the kids ready and out the door, listen to NPR on the drive to work and then read blogs while I leisurely sip my coffee at my nice quiet desk. Aaahhh. Peaceful. With Kyle at camp all week, my mornings were already strangely quiet. So for the last couple days, I got up when Erin did, and we spent the mornings hanging out downstairs. Complete with the running around and squealing, banging lids and spoons, the tossing of balls, and leaving trails of cheerios for later(Erin probably had some fun too). When she went down for her morning nap, I would hop on the computer and try and get some work done. Today is just more of the same. Kyle is at his dad’s this weekend (he was home for maybe an hour yesterday), Chris has gone in to the office, so here I am. Feeling a bit stir crazy. And Jen won’t be back until Tuesday. If I was at the store right now, I would be standing in the Hallmark aisle, eyeballing the ‘Missing You’ cards, with an arm full of roses.

One of the problems is that Erin is... how can I put this... a pain in the ass. “Hey! If you’re mobile and you know it – stomp your feet! And throw a fit! Especially if someone tries to put you back into a stroller after you've tasted freedom - sweet glorious bipedal freedom!” Get what I’m saying? I can’t just take her with me places in the stroller anymore. She wants to walk! And if I do take her somewhere, say the park or the library’s kid section, and let her run around and play and then try to put her back in the stroller or even the car seat?! Well, may god have mercy on my soul. It’s not a pretty scene. And that baby is getting big. And strong. And when she is arched into a backbend (and screaming – don’t forget the screaming) it is physically impossible to get her strapped into anything. You need some sort of way to bend her the other way. Maybe a big stick. I won’t take her anywhere now without an engineer with me. I need back-up. Preferably in the form of a big strong daddy type.

So, we are kinda stuck here for now. Oh well, I’ve got that collage to work on. And there’s always laundry to do. Hey! I think I just found a shiv in a pair of Kyle’s dirty shorts. Rough camp.

Admission for one please

Alrighty then. What I didn’t acknowledge in the last post was that after I mentioned restoring an old photo, I thought about putting up the before and after shots. Wait – that’s not the bad part. Where it really gets sick is that my next thought was – “Can I write a JavaScript program to change the before image to the after image when the user’s mouse moves over the photo?” And then I seriously considered attempting it. I am not well.

So to distract you from my shocking confession, I give you this:



Cute eh? Well, I wasn't kidding about that feedback!

Keep your pants on!

Well. The baby has learned how to take her diaper off.

What more needs to be said?!

Talk about peer pressure...

When I started this here little blog, my tag line was "all my friends are doing it" - which still makes me snicker (it seems that Kyle is not the only 11 year old boy in this house!) But hey, I was right. Everyone who is anyone has a blog these days. Including George Orwell! Who's not letting a little thing like death stop him!

And I know this has been reported all over the internet, but I found it on PRI's the World while looking for Bosnian folk music. And you found it here, while looking for… what? Reports of my still tight hamstrings? No? Maybe it’s a picture of the baby that you are after.

Well, you'll have to wait. Blogger is not cooperating. I'll try again later after a round of deep cleansing breathes.

Ok then - yoga does fix everything! That and a new flash.

I See You...

But I can't talk now. After all the fun of last week, and several days of headaches, I've fallen behind on my to-do list. I need to start the next chapter for class (and writing code is great for distracting your brain from thinking about unpleasant things!), make a photo cd for my dad, call my aunt, go to a counseling appt at the college tomorrow, prepare for a court date next Monday, and pack Kyle's bags cause he is outta here on Wednesday!

So, I need to stay focused. Nose to the grind-stone and all that jazz. In the meantime, you can watch my twitter updates there on the left to monitor my mental health. If things start sounding dire, send mocha frappachinos!
I'm kinda brownied-out, but I still need caffiene.

Walk this way

The grandparents will be seeing this live tomorrow. I couldn't leave for a long holiday weekend without sharing our doom the happiness with you.



Enjoy! And have fun and safe 4th of July.