Where have I been? In hell baby. Sure, a slight exaggeration – but last week kinda sucked. And it’s taken me this long to recover. You see, I was not built to be a stay-at-home mom. And what’s worse? Being a work-from-home mom.
Hey all you SAHMs – I’M. NOT. WORTHY!
Yes, Wayne’s World was on cable last weekend. Why do you ask?
Jen’s family was sick with the flu last week, so I had Erin with me all week. I would bring her to the office with me every morning for an hour or so and then work from home the rest of the day. Damn, I don’t know how you ladies do it. I suppose if that is your normal gig it would be ok, but it’s not mine. And by the end of the week I was a wreck. And Saturday morning while Kyle was having a small fit due to lack of food, I was hearing that little voice telling me to run away…run away…
So I did. In a round-trip kind of way. I sped down the freeway as fast as I could while listening to Soundgarden at an unhealthy volume. I eventually turned around, switched to the Pixies, and came home feeling much better. Then we ate cake.
She’s a 10!
…month old. It's true, Erin is now 10 months old. Crazy. She’s got 4 teeth on the bottom and the upper teeth are just starting to break though. She’s not walking yet – thank goodness. But I’m sure this is just the calm before the storm. She was pulling herself up to standing last month, but she seems to have given that up for Lent and I haven’t seen her do it in awhile. Other than that one time I looked at the baby monitor and saw her standing in her crib. Then she let go, fell backwards and bumped her head on the other side of the crib*. Yeah, that’ll teach her. If you’re not going to hold on – stay on your butt where it’s safe!
But she crawls like a little speed demon - her little tushie waving side to side. Quite funny. And when she really gets going, she swings her head side to side too! Which often results in her banging her head into something. Apparently it’s hard to see where you’re going what with the head motion blur coupled with your hair hanging in your eyes. Time to invest in more barrettes – it’s what a good parent would do eh?
*Girl's gonna be tall. She will sleep sideways in her crib, her head pressed against the bumper and her feet sticking through the rails on the other side. And yet at her 9 month check-up the Dr said she was only in the 70-75 percentiles for weight and height! How can that be? But her head circumference – in the 80th percentile. Ha! I knew that little pumpkin had a big head! So, when she starts whipping that melon around, watch out!
Next up to bat…
Kyle - who turned 11 on the 1st! And now he’s a man. Well, a mini-man. Ok, he’s still just a boy – skinny as a pencil and with hair like a girl. But he did something that can only be described as "manly" on the eve of his birthday. He removed his own stitches! (Yes, I know – it was only one stitch but ‘stitches’ just sounds better.) I was dreading having to spend another million and a half hours at the urgent care to take out that stitch, so I offered Kyle the $20 I would have spent on the co-pay if he let Chris remove it instead. Well, after first saying no, the allure of cold hard cash won and upstairs they went. And armed with a Swiss Army knife and some alcohol, Kyle performed his first medical procedure! I was impressed to say the least. Now we have a doctor in the family. Yes we do! Shut up!!
Now we just need to keep said doctor from prescribing himself steroids. Cause the boy is playing baseball! He started Little League last weekend and is very excited about it*. And apparently he’s pretty good even though he’s had no formal training. (Isn’t my child wonderful?) Coach says he’s fast and has good foot-work. I knew all that dancing around was a good thing. (I’m looking at you Chris!)
* His favorite thing seems to be his new 'cup'. Boys are weird.
Well it is an election year...
I guess I need to change my tag line. I can’t write in my man Zbigniew on my Presidential election ballot. And not because I can’t spell his name! He was born in Poland. So, until Ah-nold gets the constitution amended I’m S.O.L.
But you can do your patriotic duty and vote for me! Yes, in a fleeting (and probably foolish) moment of hopefulness, I have submitted another photo for inclusion in JPG magazine. See, over there on the right – click the picture and vote "Yeah'. If you vote for my photo and it is published, the sheer number of copies of the magazine that I will buy will single-handedly revitalize our economy. Vote for me! Don’t let the terrorist win.